Facebook Drama – the REAL reality show!

I never imagined myself as someone who would get taken in by Facebook drama. The whole “I was UN-Friended!?” thing just seems so ridiculous. I mean I’m not in junior high school. If someone “unfriends” me, chances are we were not very good friends to begin with, or at least hadn’t been since high school, decades ago. So weeks ago when I discovered that I had not been “unfriended” but had been set to a limited profile (that essentially cut me off of all access other than knowing they are still online and posting on all of my closest friends walls) was tough. It was especially tough because these two friends were people I had considered to be good friends offline as well. Sure we’d had a few differences, but nothing that ever went unchecked (that I am aware of) and certainly nothing recent that would have warranted this sudden change.

So, I was blocked essentially from all goings on in this couple’s lives. And it hurt. It felt deliberate. My spouse and good friends are still in regular contact with them, at least on Facebook.

It especially hurt because I’d been trying to remain connected with these friends, in the real world, extending invitations, only to be shut down at every attempt, and had assumed that our busy lives were just preventing us from connecting. On Facebook one of them had recently been in touch with me about common interests. Now I know longer had access to any of that. I have no idea what went wrong, or why it is different with me than our mutual friends. There have been small issues offline as well, Facebook seems to have just brought it all to a head for me.

I don’t need this kind of negative energy in my life. It was their action on Facebook that brought it on. So I removed them from my Facebook friend list.

It all sounds so childish, and I feel like I should just call them on it directly, but I honestly have no interest in hearing what they have to say about how they imagine I have wronged them. This is their problem, and dwelling on it and questioning them about it, and trying to get to the bottom of it, would be making it mine. I don’t have a problem, not with them or with anyone else, so I am going to do everything I can to cut the negative that comes with all of this out of my life.

I just haven’t figure out yet how to ignore them in all of their contact with those I continue to be in touch with, including my spouse. Should I take the oh-so-serious step of Blocking them entirely? God forbid! That might just be the answer!

Ah, the drama of life on Facebook.

Six-Year-Old-Child’s Irrational fears? or Drama Queen?

I find myself pondering once again: What causes a child to have sudden, unexplainable, and seemingly irrational fears, that come and go and without warning.

My seven-year-old seems fearless in many ways. She’s so much more of a risk-taker than her older sister, but then surprises me: losing her mind with panic at a hornet buzzing around the patio table; freaking out as the bathtub-of-a-row-boat moves outside of some imagined safety-zone – while she sits (accompanied by an adult who can swim) in her life jacket & wetsuit fully capable of swimming 50 meters (without the use of either), whilst the boat is hardly 25 meters from the dock or the shore; or suddenly requesting the option of sleeping inside the house rather than the much anticipated tent (in which she slept last year without incident or fear)… I could go on and on at the number of recently cropped up fears, some of which we’ve managed to overcome, others leaving me at a loss.

I find the most challenging part being that I simply cannot empathize with her panic, that my first reaction is simply to be frustrated and off-putting. When I realize that this is not going to go away, I try to reason with her. I try to understand where it is coming from. Was there an incident I was not witness to? Did someone share some “enlightening” tale? What can we do to make it better? It rarely makes sense.

How many parents feel this overwhelming urge to just throw the child overboard (figuratively speaking, of course 😉 ) and let them experience what might happen? At what point are natural consequences and refusing to coddle effective strategies, and at what point might they make matters worse? I tend to err on the side of wishing not to make matters worse, but could that in itself be part of the problem? I am, however, by no means an overprotective mom. I let my children stand a little too close to the swings and be brushed by the sneakers of their companions.swinging by. I encourage attempts at independence that often require additional clean-up. I let my daughter cut the carrots to help prepare a meal, even though my head is saying “woa! that requires a very sharp knife!”

This weekend, my children were to sleep in the tent nearby to us (who were in the tent trailer), just down the hill behind Nanny & Grampy’s house. In addition to wanting some privacy, we didn’t want the extra work to set up and take down the additional beds in the trailer. We compromised. The tent got moved to within tripping distance of the trailer door. Then I suggested to my daughter that she’d miss out on one of the most fun parts of camping out with her sister – the shake awake and urgent whispering :did you hear?” This was all it took, and on night two there was nary a discussion.

Is she just a drama queen? Or is there something to these fears?