Guest post on Balance My Life

Check it out! I was asked to contribute an article on Balance My Life.

My Balance is… in acceptance

How about yours?


Like so many, most of my adult life has been spent spinning – one high-stress situation to the next.

Then I turned a new leaf after nearly a decade of living on edge. I have just begun learning how to function in a state of “normal”. Finally: I’m done school; my new job while meaningful is low-stress (in comparison); I have a supportive spouse settled into our blended life/family; we own our own home; and I am at home to greet my children after school one to two days each week…

I have been in over my head so many times, with my body telling me I had to make a change even when I felt mentally I was coping just fine. I have always struggled with finding balance. I love working, and have a strong desire to be a leader and innovator. On the other hand I also love having time to focus on my family. I have swung on a pendulum between wanting it all and wanting none of “it” – finally coming to the decision that I simply cannot. I cannot have “it” all. I won’t be happy with one extreme or the other. So I made a conscious decision to seek a middle ground: part-time employee and part-time at-home parent.

This was not an easy choice. I had to give up the desire to be in charge (at work). Not being woken for urgent calls, not having to rearrange everything in my life for a crisis at work, not scrambling to get my children taken care of, not having to fix everyone else’s problems… these are benefits to my overall well being that are worth making sacrifices for.

Even in balance, I still frequently stray down that familiar path of needing to be busier, more involved and more successful. I think most of us do at one time or another. I have to reign myself in. In an attempt to cater to my desire for more I have given myself permission to become involved in some personal projects that I can work on at whatever pace works for me at the time. This means when I have too much on my plate the projects take a back seat, and when things slow down – or I have a need for a creative outlet – they are there to pick back up again.

Balance is whatever works for you. If you are a parent: You may thrive on careers and find balance in hiring nurturing caregivers that become part of your family. You may choose not to have children at all. You may choose parenthood over the workforce and might return to a career later in life, if ever. I have chosen a middle ground. I may never make the big goals of my career, but I also will not have regrets about spending more time with my family.

Mostly, balance requires accepting the choices we make,while acknowledging that we are the lucky ones. In Canada, there are few things in life that most of us do not have some sort of choice about.

Drop me a note in the comments below, or connect with me on Twitter @ceilidhontherun, email me at ceilidho at ceilidhontherun dot com, or use my contact form!

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