Perfect? You are NOT the perfect parent.

That’s right. You are not a perfect parent.

Perfect parent and child care giver

It really shouldn’t be news to you that you’re not perfect. Not perfect in general, not even a perfect parent. If it is, you may be somewhat delusional.

Guess what? Those other parents. They’re not perfect either. Not even the ones who lead you to believe they are. Especially not them.

Many of us hope we’ll be the perfect parents.

Maybe not perfect to every child, but perfect to our own children. Even though many of us know we won’t come close, we want SO badly to be the perfect parent. And when we come to realize the reality of our distance from perfection. It’s a little depressing.

There comes a day in every new parent’s life that we wish those infants came with a manual. A do-it-yourself guide. At the very least, some sort of a description of what to expect.

Real life experiences…

My oldest used to get these fevers, unexplainably. Two days later, she’d cut a tooth. Doctors always say that there was no evidence that fevers and teething are co-related. Fevers are supposed be indicators of infection. Yet, it appeared to be a pretty obvious pattern to me.

And I remember thinking that I would never ever get my youngest daughter to sleep at night. I was *this close* to bringing her to the doctor to see if she was colic. And one day, things just settled down.

Where is the Perfect Parent manual?

A manual seemed like it would be so helpful, but even when I found a few minutes to read the next best thing – self help books about parenting. None of them really quite cut it. One thing I realized though, more from my previous experience as an early childhood educator… you are your child’s best “expert”. That’s right. No one, and I mean no one, knows your child better than you do. Parents, I repeat… no one knows your child better than you do.

You are your child’s best expert

If the doctor says something that doesn’t sit right with you. Ask more questions. If that doesn’t help, ask for a referral or a second opinion. Talk with people and find out what you can about similar situations. That mom who “appears” to have it all together? She may *not* be your best “go to”. But maybe you’ve noticed another child that seems to be in a similar boat… does dad seem approachable? Maybe he’s going through the same thing, or better yet, maybe he’s one step ahead and has some insights to share that *may* be applicable. Just remember that no two children, no two parents, and no two families are the same. Their “answer” may not be your answer. But it may point you in the right direction.

You’ve got thisPerfect parent

I bet you’d like to feel like you have it all under control. I can almost guarantee that will never be the case, at least not for long. With our ever changing lives, our ever changing children, and our ever changing knowledge and experience this will ebb & flow.

 

And if someone tries to let on that they *never* hide in the bathroom hoping that everyone in the house would forget how to find them for just 15 whole minutes… they are lieing.

I don’t have toddlers trying to talk to me under the bathroom door anymore, but I do have cats. Can you relate?

 

Coaching services for parents

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About Trish

family legacy curator, social justice advocate, blogger, amateur photographer, reader, cyclist, runner & swimmer, mom of two

15 Comments
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Rebekah Stephens
Rebekah Stephens
5 years ago

Whenever I feel like a failure I tell myself that – I am not perfect but I am perfect for them. My kids need ME, not some robot mommy.

ceilidhontherun
ceilidhontherun
5 years ago

That is exactly it. ?

Emma
Emma
5 years ago

I am definitely better at parenting second time around but by no means perfect! Although it’s nice to not be quite so paranoid this time! 🙂

ceilidhontherun
ceilidhontherun
5 years ago
Reply to  Emma

There is an easiness that definitely enjoyed parenting the second time around.

Shell
Shell
5 years ago

I never had expectations of being a perfect parent… There really is no such thing,.. I just do my best, day by day, to be the parent my children need 🙂

ceilidhontherun
ceilidhontherun
5 years ago
Reply to  Shell

You’re fortunate to be one of the few. ?

Jaime @RainyDayRiches
5 years ago

Hi Trish, I know we ‘spoke’ about this yesterday, but I wanted to share that parent can become closer to their children by communicating with them – when they speak to you, no matter what it is, look them in the eyes so much that you notice their eye color ♥ It will help pull you away from any distraction you have to give them your 100% attention. Watever silly thing it may be they’re telling you about, it is SO important to them and will give them much encouragement 🙂

ceilidhontherun
ceilidhontherun
5 years ago

Great pointer for people to keep in mind! Take note of eye colour when talking to you children! ?

Mark
Mark
5 years ago

Loved this post, and totally relate to it, ultimately you know your child better than anyone and if in doubt ask and ask again! Thanks for sharing.

ceilidhontherun
ceilidhontherun
5 years ago
Reply to  Mark

My pleasure ??

Amy Mercer Ayers
Amy Mercer Ayers
5 years ago

Thanks for reassuring me that I’m not perfect and it’s okay to make mistakes! Our kids may think we are perfect in their eyes and love us no matter what. 🙂

ceilidhontherun
ceilidhontherun
5 years ago

Our kids *do* think we’re perfect AND all-knowing for the longest time. The day the realize otherwise is sad for all of us. But I recall frequently explaining to my oldest that I am not perfect, that no one actually is… trying to prevent the perfectionist she became herself. Lol

Adrienne Freeman
Adrienne Freeman
5 years ago

Parents are people too! Your main point in the post is spot-on. Parents know their children best.

Maria Lincoln
5 years ago

Great post! I often feel like im doing something wrong or letting my son down in one way or another, its good to know im not the only one xxx