Overcoming the isolation of parenthood

Since recently losing my mom to cancer, the isolation that can accompany being a mom is all the more poignant to me.

I may not be a new mom in the general sense anymore, but I am new to being a mom of a tween, and will be new to parenting a teen, maybe a university student, or a bride, etc. And I remember all too clearly the feeling of isolation of being a new mom.

Like many new moms today, I didn’t live near my mom or mother-in-law. Sure I could pick up the phone and call my mom when I needed support, but it wasn’t the same as being able to sit down over tea, with her in the room seeing the joy, the frustration, the desperation, the inexplicably devote love, or outright helplessness on my face. As moms we try to be all. We expect to be able to inherently know what needs to be done. When those first few challenges come along, we feel like failures when we can’t just figure it out. It can be a truly isolating experience, whether it be facing struggles with nursing, sleep issues or perhaps with colic.

The challenges often leave moms feeling like failures who just can’t do our jobs. My daughter and I had a great breastfeeding relationship from minute one, then suddenly after several weeks she was crying hysterically every time she started to nurse. For days I was so frustrated and upset trying to figure out what was going on. I’d cry while I attempted to nurse my baby who’d until then been so easy and happy. Then after a bit of research figured out that my milk supply was very plentiful and would let down fast and furious as soon as she latched on. It would flood her and she’d choke trying to keep up. I learned a tip that if I manually expressed a little before sitting down with her, the “pressure” seemed to ease off and a steadier slower flow of milk allowed her to keep up. We found our balance and everything settled down, however not without a great deal of beating myself up over it and feeling very alone through the process.

I am a well-connected mom when it comes to family supports and services. I have worked in the field and know where to look. Yet, I found it challenging. I know there are other moms out there who struggle as I did, or more so.

I want to use my own experiences and education/background to help other moms feel less isolated. I spent a lot of time researching programs and options to start my own business and/or resource connecting moms to one another and the resources and supports that families want/need. I recently decided to start my own chapter of Mommy Connections here in Halifax/Dartmouth. As I spend time getting to know potential partners in the community I am more and more excited about the potential to meet my greatest passion of connecting moms and helping families to become better informed and empowered to get their needs met.

What could be better than joining a group of moms who are learning about and engaging in what our community has to offer, before we actually need it? Imagine becoming well-acquainted with moms in our own neighborhood(s) who are experiencing many of the same feelings of joy, excitement and frustration! And imagine knowing exactly where to find that shop that carries those fantastic natural/safe bottles or diapers; or new mom’s yoga class; etc.?!

If you are or know of a new mom or mom-to-be in Halifax/Dartmouth area; or if you are or know of a business interested in connecting with moms please follow/share http://www.mommyconnections.ca/halifax to connect!